I didn't blog last week. I faced another zero on the scale. I don't even know how many weeks it's been now. 5? 6? I stopped counting. It feels like a really long time, that's all I know. And it's getting old. I've racked my brain for what I can do differently, what I might be doing wrong, what might be causing this stall (even if it's something I can't control), and all this thinking about it is driving me crazy. The scale is, after all, just a tool. It is a measurement of my weight. It tells me each week whether or not I've dropped a few pounds, and while very useful on this journey it can become a burden when you reach a point like where I am right now. It can bring you down. It can make you sad. Or worse, it can cause you to become obsessed and want to get on it EVERY single day. Which is where I've been for the past week and a half. I've been on it every morning in that time frame, hoping to see it budge just a little. It never does. It's enough to drive one mad. And so, today, I will NOT get on the scale.
You read that right. Today I will not get on the scale. And I won't do it tomorrow either. Or the next day. My happiness in my journey has become too reliant upon it. Which means I've been unhappy a lot lately. Plateau's are going to happen. This one for me is most likely due to the enormous amount of stress I am under. I can't change what is happening in my life right now. I can't make the scale move. All I can do is stick to my points, make good food choices, run, work out, drink lots of water, and let the scale move in its own time. Oh, and not obsess over that number. Just as that number does not define me, whether or not it gets smaller each week should have no bearing on my happiness.
There are other tools to measure my success. How do I feel physically? How are my clothes fitting? How do I feel in my body? Does my body feel strong? Can I do things now that I couldn't do 8 months ago? How is my energy level? Do I look different in pictures? There are all sorts of ways to measure my progress, and this week every time I have the urge to hop on that scale I'm going to think about these things and resist it. I've got to get back to weighing in one day a week and not thinking about it the rest of the week.
Week 30: 271, -0 lb./-65 lb. total
Week 31: 271, -0 lb./-65 lb. total
Week 32: 271, -0 lb./-65 lb. total
Week 33: no weigh-in
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Saturday, August 3, 2013
Too Many Cookies
Another zero on the scale today. You all may think that's probably got me down, but it doesn't. I've spent the last few days trying to figure out what's going on and where to go from here. I think eating mostly veggies may have played some role in this plateau. I stopped keeping track of points then because it was nearly impossible to eat them all each day. It is possible that I haven't been eating enough a lot of days, and believe it or not, you won't lose weight that way. That likely explains the first few weeks of my not losing. The last two weeks though, are more likely explained by days of eating veggies, followed by days of eating cookies, lol! Yes, it's confession time: I've eaten far too many cookies this week while contemplating this situation. There, I said it. And now it's over and done and I'm moving on.
Where to go from here? While I ultimately do want to adopt a plants-based/whole foods diet, I'm realizing now is not the time. Losing the weight and getting healthy is top priority and I have to do that first. So, it's back on Weight Watchers for this girl. I'm totally cool with that and already well on my way. I'm hoping to report at least a 2 pound loss next week (that would put me out of the 270's), and I'm setting a 10 pound goal for the month of August. I may or may not reach it with all the stress I'm under, but I'm dang sure going to give it everything I've got.
Week 30: 271, -0 lb./-65 lb. total
Week 31: 271, -0 lb./-65 lb. total
Where to go from here? While I ultimately do want to adopt a plants-based/whole foods diet, I'm realizing now is not the time. Losing the weight and getting healthy is top priority and I have to do that first. So, it's back on Weight Watchers for this girl. I'm totally cool with that and already well on my way. I'm hoping to report at least a 2 pound loss next week (that would put me out of the 270's), and I'm setting a 10 pound goal for the month of August. I may or may not reach it with all the stress I'm under, but I'm dang sure going to give it everything I've got.
Week 30: 271, -0 lb./-65 lb. total
Week 31: 271, -0 lb./-65 lb. total
Saturday, July 27, 2013
The Electric Run... Here's How It All Went Down
I signed up months ago. It seemed it would never get here. I looked forward to it, dreamed about it, wondered how it would it all turn out. Yesterday, the day of reckoning arrived. Would the running I had been doing all this time pay off? Would it be enough? Would I end up walking? Would I walk or run across the finish line? I was a bundle of nerves.
My friend, Jessie, signed up to run it with me. She can run 3 miles any day of the week. She told me she would be my cheerleader. I was very thankful to have her there with me. Neither of us knew she was going to have to turn into Jillian Michaels to get the job done, but more on that later. :-) Her neighbor and friend, Heidi, also joined us for the race. Heidi is now my friend too, but I didn't know her before yesterday. Both of these amazing women were crucial in getting me across that finish line, and I'm convinced you never forget who you ran your first race with.
Okay, so the race begins in waves. Every 5 minutes or so they count down from 10 and let a certain amount of people through. I'm not sure how many waves went before it was our turn, maybe 6 or so. Finally, we cross the start line and it immediately becomes apparent that the walkers are going to be hard to get around. I was worried that we were going to end up walking because it was so hard to get around them in the beginning. We are having to run outside the cones marking the path. Thankfully, that didn't last too long and things got easier.
We're running, the music is great, the lights are great, the other runners/walkers costumes are fun to look at, but all that quickly starts to fade away a bit as the run itself becomes harder for me. When we pass the 1 mile mark I realize I haven't run much further than this without stopping.... EVER. I focus on getting to 1.5 miles (or around there) because I know there will be water there. I just wanted water. And to walk, I really wanted to walk, but I wasn't giving up yet. So I kept going, but right before we reach the water I began to tell Jessie, "This was a bad idea. I can't do this!" She said, "Yes, you can! Water's up ahead, keep running." And so we did.
I know the water station was supposed to be halfway through the course and I also know I've already run farther than I ever have before and that is surely something to be proud of. But I came to run the whole thing, yet I just didn't see how that was going to happen. I was dead tired already and only halfway in. We tossed our water cups and picked up our pace again. This was also the point at which I ripped off all my glow stuff (necklaces, bracelets, rings) and threw them in the trash can. They were unbearable, lol! The race was at the speedway and this part was closed in. It was hot, and felt long. Here's where I started saying "I don't want to do this anymore!" over and over, and where I started to cry a little.
Jessie and Heidi assured me I most certainly did want to do this and cheered me on. My friends could easily have gone ahead and finished far ahead of me, but they stuck with me the whole time. We kept running.
Then I saw the 2 mile marker. That should have been good, right? Wrong! That's when the tears came. That's when I felt TOO worn out to go on. That's when reminding myself that "it doesn't get any worse than this" flew out the window. That's when Jessie and Heidi needed their pom poms the most, and trust me, they had a hard job! I cried more than I didn't that last mile. Around 2.5 miles I couldn't take it anymore. I said, "Jessie, I can't!" And I started to walk. She said, "Okay, walk. Walk for one minute, until we get to that cone up there and then you're going to run again." I said, "No, I can't. You and Heidi run, I'll walk." She said, "Are you going to go home and tell you're kids you WALKED across that finish line? No, you're not. THAT cone right there... run." And we ran. And I continued to tell them I couldn't, even as I did. And they continued to tell me "Yes, you can, and you are... see?" Even random women I didn't know saw my tears and my struggle and told me I could and cheered me on. It was an experience like no other.
Oh! I forgot to mention the hills! There were hills... more than one. Grrrr! The first one was early on and not too bad, but the ones that came later, when I was already near or in tears, those were killer hills. Jess would see them before me and say, "Head down, look 5 feet in front of you, it's not that big" when it really was. I think she's done this a time or two. :-)
Finally, we see the finish line off in the distance. Ahead of time I had thought seeing the finish line would give me a rush of adrenaline and change my attitude. It didn't happen. Once I could see it, it was too far away. I kept telling Jessie and Heidi I just wanted to walk across it, but they kept telling me, "No! You do not! Keep running!" And I kept running though my body was screaming "NOOOOOOOOOOO!" I kept running because Jess and Heidi knew I could and knew I wanted it, and knew all I needed was friends to keep me moving.
Jessie, Heidi, and I ran across the finish line together. I was Wonder Woman, Rocky Balboa, and all three Power Puff Girls rolled into one in that moment! I know I did it, but I couldn't have done it without my friends. Thank you Jessie and Heidi, for not leaving me, for running at a slower pace for me, for not complaining about my "I can'ts!", for letting me cry, for pushing me beyond what I thought I was capable of. I love you both!
Let's Play Catch-Up
Yes, I know, it's been awhile. No worries, nothing bad or crazy is going on. I've just been super busy and really stressed and letting life get in the way somewhat. Two weeks ago I had another 0, last week a 1, then today another 0. Am I happy with those results? No, but I'm not beating myself up over them or letting them get to me either.
This week will be a week of trying to figure out what I can do differently, better, or where I'm going wrong. I know my stress level has been through the roof and that hasn't been helping, but there must be other factors. So, it's time to figure it out and keep moving forward.
Week 20: 287, -0 lb./-49 lb. total
Week 21: 284, -3 lb./-52 lb. total
Week 22: 280, -4 lb./-56 lb. total
Week 23: 279, -1 lb./-57 lb. total
Week 24: 275, -4 lb./-61 lb. total
Week 25: 274, -1 lb./-62 lb. total
Week 26: 272, -2 lb./-64 lb. total
Week 27: 272, -0 lb./-64 lb. total
Week 28: 272, -0 lb./-64 lb. total
Week 29: 271, -1 lb./-65 lb. total
Week 30: 271, -0 lb./-65 lb. total
This week will be a week of trying to figure out what I can do differently, better, or where I'm going wrong. I know my stress level has been through the roof and that hasn't been helping, but there must be other factors. So, it's time to figure it out and keep moving forward.
Week 20: 287, -0 lb./-49 lb. total
Week 21: 284, -3 lb./-52 lb. total
Week 22: 280, -4 lb./-56 lb. total
Week 23: 279, -1 lb./-57 lb. total
Week 24: 275, -4 lb./-61 lb. total
Week 25: 274, -1 lb./-62 lb. total
Week 26: 272, -2 lb./-64 lb. total
Week 27: 272, -0 lb./-64 lb. total
Week 28: 272, -0 lb./-64 lb. total
Week 29: 271, -1 lb./-65 lb. total
Week 30: 271, -0 lb./-65 lb. total
Sunday, July 7, 2013
It's Not Always Easy
After my celebratory post last week, I wish I had something a nicer to post today. But the fact of the matter is, I had a REALLY bad week. It was stressful from the first day to the last. I didn't fall completely off the wagon or anything. There were no fast food value meals eaten and I didn't start pigging out in the middle of the night, or anything, I just wasn't following my own rules. I ate after dinner even if I wasn't hungry. I only worked out 2 days... 2 days! I snacked at times I normally do not. I let the part of me that got me to 336 in the first place elbow its way back in, just a little. The entire week I just felt completely off-kilter, and it showed up on the scale.
It's been 7 weeks since I faced a 0 on the scale, but I deserved the one I got yesterday morning. I was fully expecting it, and I had already decided I was okay with it because I couldn't go back in time and do the week over. There is no point in beating myself up over it. The only thing I can do is to get back on track this week and that's what I'm doing. I cannot fall into that trap. I've come too far to ever go back to where I was, but I did want to write this post so you all can see we ALL have bad days or bad weeks. What we choose to do about it, that's on each of us, and that's what will make all difference in a journey like mine.
Week 20: 287, -0 lb./-49 lb. total
Week 21: 284, -3 lb./-52 lb. total
Week 22: 280, -4 lb./-56 lb. total
Week 23: 279, -1 lb./-57 lb. total
Week 24: 275, -4 lb./-61 lb. total
Week 25: 274, -1 lb./-62 lb. total
Week 26: 272, -2 lb./-64 lb. total
Week 27: 272, -0 lb./-64 lb. total
It's been 7 weeks since I faced a 0 on the scale, but I deserved the one I got yesterday morning. I was fully expecting it, and I had already decided I was okay with it because I couldn't go back in time and do the week over. There is no point in beating myself up over it. The only thing I can do is to get back on track this week and that's what I'm doing. I cannot fall into that trap. I've come too far to ever go back to where I was, but I did want to write this post so you all can see we ALL have bad days or bad weeks. What we choose to do about it, that's on each of us, and that's what will make all difference in a journey like mine.
Week 20: 287, -0 lb./-49 lb. total
Week 21: 284, -3 lb./-52 lb. total
Week 22: 280, -4 lb./-56 lb. total
Week 23: 279, -1 lb./-57 lb. total
Week 24: 275, -4 lb./-61 lb. total
Week 25: 274, -1 lb./-62 lb. total
Week 26: 272, -2 lb./-64 lb. total
Week 27: 272, -0 lb./-64 lb. total
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Six Months!!!
Today I celebrate 6 months. Today I celebrate 6 months of healthy eating (well, in the beginning it was just better eating, but it became healthy along the way), 6 months of working out, 6 months of drinking only water, 6 months of learning to love my body for what it is now instead of waiting until my body is a certain weight and/or looks a certain way, 6 months of a changed life, and 6 months of being the best me I can possibly be at any given moment. I am beyond thankful for God's "wake-up" call 6 months ago.
6 months is HALF A YEAR. Now that seems crazy. If you had asked me on my 35th birthday where I thought I'd be in half a year, here wouldn't have even been on my radar. I am grateful, thankful, humbled, amazed, you name it. And I'm going to keep on keepin' on, as they say. I can't wait to see what the next 6 months have in store.
Weigh-in: 2 pounds today and I'll take it!
Week 20: 287, -0 lb./-49 lb. total
Week 21: 284, -3 lb./-52 lb. total
Week 22: 280, -4 lb./-56 lb. total
Week 23: 279, -1 lb./-57 lb. total
Week 24: 275, -4 lb./-61 lb. total
Week 25: 274, -1 lb./-62 lb. total
Week 26: 272, -2 lb./-64 lb. total
6 months is HALF A YEAR. Now that seems crazy. If you had asked me on my 35th birthday where I thought I'd be in half a year, here wouldn't have even been on my radar. I am grateful, thankful, humbled, amazed, you name it. And I'm going to keep on keepin' on, as they say. I can't wait to see what the next 6 months have in store.
Weigh-in: 2 pounds today and I'll take it!
Week 20: 287, -0 lb./-49 lb. total
Week 21: 284, -3 lb./-52 lb. total
Week 22: 280, -4 lb./-56 lb. total
Week 23: 279, -1 lb./-57 lb. total
Week 24: 275, -4 lb./-61 lb. total
Week 25: 274, -1 lb./-62 lb. total
Week 26: 272, -2 lb./-64 lb. total
Saturday, June 22, 2013
Things I Never Thought I'd Be
I've never considered myself a role model, not really. Or at least not a very good one. And I certainly never thought I would be an inspiration to anyone, for any reason. Until I "woke up", I was a pretty miserable person. I was negative, I complained all the time, everything got on my nerves, I was short with everyone... I was generally not pleasant to be around a lot of the time. It's the truth so I'm laying it out there.
It's been almost 6 months now since I changed my life. I'm still changing, of course. There are still a lot of aspects of my life that need work. I've gotten a good handle on my health and now need to focus on using that same determination in other areas. And that's okay. Everything isn't going to come together all at once. But I can see the effect the changes I have already made are having on my kiddos and family. Choosing to work on myself, choosing to be positive, choosing not to complain, choosing the good over the bad when there is a choice to be made, it's all having an impact. The kids are making better food choices and moving more as well just because they see me doing those things, and that is icing on the cake!
I've also been receiving e-mails and messages letting me know that I am inspiring others along my journey- friends I talk to regularly, acquaintances, people I went to high school with, people I barely know, etc. That's pretty amazing! I hadn't considered this aspect when I started out. While pulling up my bootstraps, I couldn't see past my boots. This has been surprising and something I am very thankful for.
Weigh-in: This week was uneventful. No bumps, nothing new to report. Still working toward the 100% whole foods/plant-based diet. Down 1 pound this week.
Week 20: 287, -0 lb./-49 lb. total
Week 21: 284, -3 lb./-52 lb. total
Week 22: 280, -4 lb./-56 lb. total
Week 23: 279, -1 lb./-57 lb. total
Week 24: 275, -4 lb./-61 lb. total
Week 25: 274, -1 lb./-62 lb. total
It's been almost 6 months now since I changed my life. I'm still changing, of course. There are still a lot of aspects of my life that need work. I've gotten a good handle on my health and now need to focus on using that same determination in other areas. And that's okay. Everything isn't going to come together all at once. But I can see the effect the changes I have already made are having on my kiddos and family. Choosing to work on myself, choosing to be positive, choosing not to complain, choosing the good over the bad when there is a choice to be made, it's all having an impact. The kids are making better food choices and moving more as well just because they see me doing those things, and that is icing on the cake!
I've also been receiving e-mails and messages letting me know that I am inspiring others along my journey- friends I talk to regularly, acquaintances, people I went to high school with, people I barely know, etc. That's pretty amazing! I hadn't considered this aspect when I started out. While pulling up my bootstraps, I couldn't see past my boots. This has been surprising and something I am very thankful for.
Weigh-in: This week was uneventful. No bumps, nothing new to report. Still working toward the 100% whole foods/plant-based diet. Down 1 pound this week.
Week 20: 287, -0 lb./-49 lb. total
Week 21: 284, -3 lb./-52 lb. total
Week 22: 280, -4 lb./-56 lb. total
Week 23: 279, -1 lb./-57 lb. total
Week 24: 275, -4 lb./-61 lb. total
Week 25: 274, -1 lb./-62 lb. total
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Progress Pics
I have come to realize I wish I had been taking progress pics these last 5 1/2 months. I was able to dig out a pic of myself from right before Christmas of last year, one someone was adamant to take. And someone took another of me a couple of weeks ago at a park day with our homeschool group. So I can give you a little comparison and I promise to start taking progress pics from here on out. Deal?
Saturday, June 15, 2013
336
Up until this week I had been messaging the link to this blog to those I wanted to share it with. It was only a handful of people. I'd resend it every Saturday to each of them individually through a Facebook message with a short "It's Saturday!" note to let them know there was a new post. A week ago, I decided to update my Facebook status with this:
"This is really for a handful of you, but if you're following my weight-loss blog, you have the link. I am no longer going to send out weekly reminders to everyone. If you would like to follow and don't have the link, give me a holler. Thanks!"
I really thought maybe a couple of people would ask me for the link, but was surprised that quite a few people did. So then I was faced with knowing once I clicked on send, my starting weight, my current weight, the whole journey was going to be out there for everyone to see. The first few were hard. But it occurred to me that if anyone was helped by my sharing it, that's one of the reasons I'm doing it. Then it got easier. If anyone is inspired to lose even 10 pounds, to take up a new sport, to exercise on a regular basis, to try a new healthy food once a week, to eat healthier, to drastically overhaul their diet, to run a 5k, to jog for 3 minutes, anything at all... that is reason enough to suck it up and click send.
The truth is, if I had run into someone from high school 6 months ago, I wouldn't have needed "336 lb." tattooed on my forehead for them to realize I was morbidly obese. It was apparent. Saying that number out loud, even at the beginning of this journey, was far too hard. But you know what? The more I say it, and the farther I go away from it, the easier it becomes. I own it. I own 336. I own it because there are so many other women (and men) out there exactly where I was, who really need someone to inspire them. I may or may not be that person for them, but I'm going to live my life everyday as if I am. I own it because I will not go back there.
Someday I will say, "I lost more than half my weight." Someday 336 will seem unfathomable to people who didn't know me before. Forgetting is not an option. Pretending like I was never there or like it really wasn't THAT bad isn't an option either. I'll never be there again, but 336 is mine.
Weigh- in: I felt like I was going to have a good number this week and I was right. The scale revealed a 4 pound loss, which put me at 61 pounds gone!!!
Week 20: 287, -0 lb./-49 lb. total
Week 21: 284, -3 lb./-52 lb. total
Week 22: 280, -4 lb./-56 lb. total
Week 23: 279, -1 lb./-57 lb. total
Week 24: 275, -4 lb./-61 lb. total
"This is really for a handful of you, but if you're following my weight-loss blog, you have the link. I am no longer going to send out weekly reminders to everyone. If you would like to follow and don't have the link, give me a holler. Thanks!"
I really thought maybe a couple of people would ask me for the link, but was surprised that quite a few people did. So then I was faced with knowing once I clicked on send, my starting weight, my current weight, the whole journey was going to be out there for everyone to see. The first few were hard. But it occurred to me that if anyone was helped by my sharing it, that's one of the reasons I'm doing it. Then it got easier. If anyone is inspired to lose even 10 pounds, to take up a new sport, to exercise on a regular basis, to try a new healthy food once a week, to eat healthier, to drastically overhaul their diet, to run a 5k, to jog for 3 minutes, anything at all... that is reason enough to suck it up and click send.
The truth is, if I had run into someone from high school 6 months ago, I wouldn't have needed "336 lb." tattooed on my forehead for them to realize I was morbidly obese. It was apparent. Saying that number out loud, even at the beginning of this journey, was far too hard. But you know what? The more I say it, and the farther I go away from it, the easier it becomes. I own it. I own 336. I own it because there are so many other women (and men) out there exactly where I was, who really need someone to inspire them. I may or may not be that person for them, but I'm going to live my life everyday as if I am. I own it because I will not go back there.
Someday I will say, "I lost more than half my weight." Someday 336 will seem unfathomable to people who didn't know me before. Forgetting is not an option. Pretending like I was never there or like it really wasn't THAT bad isn't an option either. I'll never be there again, but 336 is mine.
Weigh- in: I felt like I was going to have a good number this week and I was right. The scale revealed a 4 pound loss, which put me at 61 pounds gone!!!
Week 20: 287, -0 lb./-49 lb. total
Week 21: 284, -3 lb./-52 lb. total
Week 22: 280, -4 lb./-56 lb. total
Week 23: 279, -1 lb./-57 lb. total
Week 24: 275, -4 lb./-61 lb. total
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
What a Run!
No, I didn't run my first 5k, not yet anyway, but yesterday was pretty good in it's own right. Let me fill you in.
My sister and I started the C25K program March 20th. So we've been running for 12 weeks now and the vast majority of that time has been spent in Week 3 of the 8 week program. Honestly, Week 4 has always felt too daunting. There's a major difference between Weeks 3 and 4, and at my weight I've just never felt ready.
When we first started running I sounded like a woman in labor. Actually I sounded like someone trying to do Lamaze breathing but who really, really sucked at it, hahahaha! If there were other people at the track while we were running they would always turn around to see who was making all the noise. I've screamed, I've moaned, I've cried, you name it. Over the many weeks we've spent in Week 3, I've finally learned to control my breathing. Do I still feel like I'm dying? Sure, but somehow I've learned to manage it. So, this week my sister said, "Let's do this thing." To which I replied, "Um... okay. Let's."
I have to admit I was nervous. A little scared even. We had never run a 5-minute stretch before and now we were going to do it twice in a 30 minute period, as well as two 3-minute stretches. Also, the recovery periods between runs were going to be shorter as well. I wasn't sure I could do it but I was willing to try.
We walked briskly for 5 minutes, then ran for 3 minutes. All was good. It was the 5 minute run I was worried about and it was now upon us. I was determined not to look down at the timer on the iPod. I knew knowing how much time was left in the stretch would make me want to quit. I decided to keep my eyes on the pavement just in front of me and keep moving. At 3/4 of a lap I was hurting. At a lap I was ready to quit, but I knew without looking that was around the 3 minute mark. I saw another woman at the track. She was much bigger than me. She was walking. She made me want to keep going. It hurt. It sucked. I felt like I might cry. Then I heard the chime which meant the 5 minutes were up and it was time to walk! We still had another 3 and another 5 (both of which we did, yay!), but in that moment I was crazy proud of both of us. What a breakthrough! We'd gone from running 9 out of 30 minutes to running 16 out of 30 minutes, and finally ran a 5 minute stretch. Yes, super proud!
I know this is not what they mean by "runner's high", but it might as well be.
My sister and I started the C25K program March 20th. So we've been running for 12 weeks now and the vast majority of that time has been spent in Week 3 of the 8 week program. Honestly, Week 4 has always felt too daunting. There's a major difference between Weeks 3 and 4, and at my weight I've just never felt ready.
When we first started running I sounded like a woman in labor. Actually I sounded like someone trying to do Lamaze breathing but who really, really sucked at it, hahahaha! If there were other people at the track while we were running they would always turn around to see who was making all the noise. I've screamed, I've moaned, I've cried, you name it. Over the many weeks we've spent in Week 3, I've finally learned to control my breathing. Do I still feel like I'm dying? Sure, but somehow I've learned to manage it. So, this week my sister said, "Let's do this thing." To which I replied, "Um... okay. Let's."
I have to admit I was nervous. A little scared even. We had never run a 5-minute stretch before and now we were going to do it twice in a 30 minute period, as well as two 3-minute stretches. Also, the recovery periods between runs were going to be shorter as well. I wasn't sure I could do it but I was willing to try.
We walked briskly for 5 minutes, then ran for 3 minutes. All was good. It was the 5 minute run I was worried about and it was now upon us. I was determined not to look down at the timer on the iPod. I knew knowing how much time was left in the stretch would make me want to quit. I decided to keep my eyes on the pavement just in front of me and keep moving. At 3/4 of a lap I was hurting. At a lap I was ready to quit, but I knew without looking that was around the 3 minute mark. I saw another woman at the track. She was much bigger than me. She was walking. She made me want to keep going. It hurt. It sucked. I felt like I might cry. Then I heard the chime which meant the 5 minutes were up and it was time to walk! We still had another 3 and another 5 (both of which we did, yay!), but in that moment I was crazy proud of both of us. What a breakthrough! We'd gone from running 9 out of 30 minutes to running 16 out of 30 minutes, and finally ran a 5 minute stretch. Yes, super proud!
I know this is not what they mean by "runner's high", but it might as well be.
Saturday, June 8, 2013
My Mind Is Made Up
I'm still reading and researching, but my mind is made up... I'm going to adopt a whole foods/plants-based diet. I know to many that sounds extreme. I went vegan for 9 months over a decade ago. I know I can live without meat. I want to do it more now than I ever did back then and for very different reasons. I'm already being asked "Why?!!!" and my only answer is that it is the next right step for me, for my health. I'm reading, researching, and it just feels right. I'm not asking anyone else to do it, to accommodate me, or to understand. I only need others to not want fight about it, if that makes sense.
I'm also stepping away from processed/packaged foods. Yes, I realize this is pretty drastic stuff, but it's what I'm feeling pulled to do. If you're curious, no I am not going to make my children do the same. Yes, the are eating healthier these days. They choose fruit over cookies and carrots over chips often. But at this point, at the beginning of this, of MY journey, I don't feel I need to push any of this on them. I don't know what will happen down the road, but right now I only want to help them make better food choices and move more. This week alone I introduced them to kale, eggplant, Brussells sprouts, and avocado. Only the latter wasn't a winner (well, Aaron loved it... the others, not so much). Baby steps with the kiddos.
I got on the scale this morning needing only one pound to get me out of the 280's forever, and that's exactly what I got! I've learned to be happy with the scale, even when it reveals a 1 or a 0, as long as I've done my best that week. This week was a week of adjustment, as I ate very little meat and lots of veggies,and also had no flex points and didn't meet my points allowance for any given day. I see a time in the very near future when Weight Watchers is a thing of the past for me, simply because it will not be needed with the new way of eating. However, I do still love and fully endorse Weight Watchers. It's a wonderful program for anyone needing to lose weight. I will forever be grateful for what I was able to do on the program.
Week 20: 287, -0 lb./-49 lb. total
Week 21: 284, -3 lb./-52 lb. total
Week 22: 280, -4 lb./-56 lb. total
Week 23: 279, -1 lb./-57 lb. total
I'm also stepping away from processed/packaged foods. Yes, I realize this is pretty drastic stuff, but it's what I'm feeling pulled to do. If you're curious, no I am not going to make my children do the same. Yes, the are eating healthier these days. They choose fruit over cookies and carrots over chips often. But at this point, at the beginning of this, of MY journey, I don't feel I need to push any of this on them. I don't know what will happen down the road, but right now I only want to help them make better food choices and move more. This week alone I introduced them to kale, eggplant, Brussells sprouts, and avocado. Only the latter wasn't a winner (well, Aaron loved it... the others, not so much). Baby steps with the kiddos.
I got on the scale this morning needing only one pound to get me out of the 280's forever, and that's exactly what I got! I've learned to be happy with the scale, even when it reveals a 1 or a 0, as long as I've done my best that week. This week was a week of adjustment, as I ate very little meat and lots of veggies,and also had no flex points and didn't meet my points allowance for any given day. I see a time in the very near future when Weight Watchers is a thing of the past for me, simply because it will not be needed with the new way of eating. However, I do still love and fully endorse Weight Watchers. It's a wonderful program for anyone needing to lose weight. I will forever be grateful for what I was able to do on the program.
Week 20: 287, -0 lb./-49 lb. total
Week 21: 284, -3 lb./-52 lb. total
Week 22: 280, -4 lb./-56 lb. total
Week 23: 279, -1 lb./-57 lb. total
Saturday, June 1, 2013
Big Changes and Big Fun
In the past few weeks I've really begun to realize just how much crap I eat. And by crap I mean packaged, processed foods with very little nutritional value. Sure, I'm eating less of it, and I've definitely been eating the less crappy crap, hahaha! But still. So Wednesday was the day I decided no more processed foods. I thought it was going to be at least a little hard, but so far it hasn't been. As I get a little more into this, I am even considering a whole foods/plants-based diet. It's still something I am reading about/researching and not something I would push on my kiddos, but I do feel myself being pulled in that direction.
This is not something I could have done at the beginning of this journey. At the beginning I was still addicted to food. Now those chains are broken. I realized this the other day when I went through the Taco Bell drive-through to get the kid's a taco and not only did I not order anything for myself, I didn't WANT to order anything for myself. In fact, I was excited about my lunch options awaiting me at home. Things like pizza and cookies and chips and fried foods just don't have any power over me anymore. It's really an amazing place to be!
In other news, we took the kiddos to Carowinds Thursday. It was the first time any of them had ever been and we all had a wonderful time! I went at least once a year as a child and all the time as a teenager, but haven't been at all in over a decade. Katelyn was adamant ahead of time she wanted to ride Thunder Road with me. I really thought she might chicken out when she saw it, but she did not. We also rode the kiddie coaster that used to be called Scooby-Doo (I refuse to call it anything else!) and the truth is I barely fit it either of them. The reality hit me that I wouldn't have been able to ride anything with them 6 months ago because I wouldn't have fit on the rides. Also, I wouldn't have been able to walk the park for nearly 8 hours either.
Something fairly new to the park is The Intimidator. You can see this insanely tall coaster from everywhere in the park. When we first saw it from the road I thought, "No way! NEVER!", but the more I watched it the more I felt it sucking me in and before I knew it I wanted to ride it. It has a seat sitting out front. If you can sit in it and pull the restraint back and the green light comes on, you will fit in the seat and can ride. I don't fit, but I was not sad, because I am determined that by the end of summer that green light is going to come on and I WILL ride the Intimidator. Incentive! If anyone wants to be the first to ride it with me, let me know. :-)
Onto today's weigh-in. Did a change in diet halfway through the week make a difference? Who knows? What I do know is I stepped on the scale to find a 4 pound loss. I'll take that any day of the week!
Week 20: 287, -0 lb./-49 lb. total
Week 21: 284, -3 lb./-52 lb. total
Week 22: 280, -4 lb./-56 lb. total
This is not something I could have done at the beginning of this journey. At the beginning I was still addicted to food. Now those chains are broken. I realized this the other day when I went through the Taco Bell drive-through to get the kid's a taco and not only did I not order anything for myself, I didn't WANT to order anything for myself. In fact, I was excited about my lunch options awaiting me at home. Things like pizza and cookies and chips and fried foods just don't have any power over me anymore. It's really an amazing place to be!
In other news, we took the kiddos to Carowinds Thursday. It was the first time any of them had ever been and we all had a wonderful time! I went at least once a year as a child and all the time as a teenager, but haven't been at all in over a decade. Katelyn was adamant ahead of time she wanted to ride Thunder Road with me. I really thought she might chicken out when she saw it, but she did not. We also rode the kiddie coaster that used to be called Scooby-Doo (I refuse to call it anything else!) and the truth is I barely fit it either of them. The reality hit me that I wouldn't have been able to ride anything with them 6 months ago because I wouldn't have fit on the rides. Also, I wouldn't have been able to walk the park for nearly 8 hours either.
Something fairly new to the park is The Intimidator. You can see this insanely tall coaster from everywhere in the park. When we first saw it from the road I thought, "No way! NEVER!", but the more I watched it the more I felt it sucking me in and before I knew it I wanted to ride it. It has a seat sitting out front. If you can sit in it and pull the restraint back and the green light comes on, you will fit in the seat and can ride. I don't fit, but I was not sad, because I am determined that by the end of summer that green light is going to come on and I WILL ride the Intimidator. Incentive! If anyone wants to be the first to ride it with me, let me know. :-)
Onto today's weigh-in. Did a change in diet halfway through the week make a difference? Who knows? What I do know is I stepped on the scale to find a 4 pound loss. I'll take that any day of the week!
Week 20: 287, -0 lb./-49 lb. total
Week 21: 284, -3 lb./-52 lb. total
Week 22: 280, -4 lb./-56 lb. total
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Time for the Happy Dance!
Week 20 came and went with a zero on the scale, but that was completely okay. I still stuck to my points, exercised, and did my thing. Zeroes happen and I refuse to allow them to derail me, or even disappoint me for more than 2.2 seconds. So on I moved!
Week 21 had a lot going on with the girls' dance recitals and a few other things. I missed a couple of days' work outs and that's okay too. Life is always changing and we have to change with it. I got right back to it once things settled down and didn't beat myself up over it. But I did feel a little"off" because of it if that makes any sense.
Weigh-in day. I've been anticipating, wishing for, wanting that 50 pounds mark so bad I can taste it for a couple of weeks now. Today was the day! Today the scale revealed a 3 pound loss, which puts my total at 52 pounds!!! I'm over the moon! 100, I'm comin' after you next! :-)
Note: My list was getting very long, so I'm going to start posting from week 20 here. If you want to see the stats from weeks 1-20, check out any post before this one.
Week 20: 287, -0 lb./-49 lb. total
Week 21: 284, -3 lb./-52 lb. total
Week 21 had a lot going on with the girls' dance recitals and a few other things. I missed a couple of days' work outs and that's okay too. Life is always changing and we have to change with it. I got right back to it once things settled down and didn't beat myself up over it. But I did feel a little"off" because of it if that makes any sense.
Weigh-in day. I've been anticipating, wishing for, wanting that 50 pounds mark so bad I can taste it for a couple of weeks now. Today was the day! Today the scale revealed a 3 pound loss, which puts my total at 52 pounds!!! I'm over the moon! 100, I'm comin' after you next! :-)
Note: My list was getting very long, so I'm going to start posting from week 20 here. If you want to see the stats from weeks 1-20, check out any post before this one.
Week 20: 287, -0 lb./-49 lb. total
Week 21: 284, -3 lb./-52 lb. total
Saturday, May 11, 2013
One Determined Mama
My sister and I had a converstion this week about willpower and determination. I told her I wish I could bottle mine up and give it to those struggling to lose weight who really need it. We all know it doesn't work that way, but it the conversation did get me thinking.
I've lost 50 pounds twice before on Weight Watchers. Both times I had barely hit that milestone when I found out I was pregnant (with Joshua, then Aaron). As proud as I was to be 50 pounds down, finding out I was pregnant was a relief. It gave me a reason to quit! Both times I struggled to stay on track after the first 6 weeks or so, and both times I could feel myself unraveling toward the end, and fast. Being pregnant was the perfect cover-up. No one ever had to know how close I had come to throwing in the towel and reverting to my old ways.
I haven't wavered in my resolve this time. My determination hasn't faltered. Some days/weeks are harder than others, sure, but I haven't once wanted to quit. What's the difference? Why am I not falling apart right about now?
December 29th I woke up, in more ways than one. I've said I literally opened my eyes that morning and said, "I'm done. Enough is enough." And it's true, I did. But I really believe God shook me that morning, saying, "You've been praying for change, for peace, for so long... it has to start with you. YOU must do this because you are more than capable and I won't do this for you or you'll never see how strong and able you really are." That's the difference. Not that He pushed, as I'm sure He had been pushing for quite a long while, but that I listened and embraced it.
You all know I'm sooooo close to 50 pounds lost. I would have loved to step on the scale this morning to find I had made it there, but I saw a 2 pound loss instead and I am not disappointed. I have lost 49 pounds and will hopefully be celebrating my 50 this time next week!
Starting weight: 336 lb.
Goal weight: 150 lb.
Week 1: 328, -8 lb.
Week 2: 325, -3 lb./-11 lb. total
Week 3: 323, -2 lb./-13 lb. total
Week 4: 317, -6 lb./-19 lb. total
Week 5: 314, -3 lb./-22 lb. total
Week 6: 312, -2 lb./-24 lb. total
Week 7: 312, -0 lb./-24 lb. total
Week 8: 306, -6 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 9: 306, -0 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 10: 306, -0 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 11: 304, -2 lb./-32 lb. total
Week 12: 300, -4 lb./-36 lb. total
Week 13: 300, -0 lb./-36 lb. total
Week 14: 300, -0 lb./-36 lb. total
Week 15: 298, -2 lb./-38 lb. total
Week 16: 295, -3 lb./-41 lb. total
Week 17: 293, -2 lb./-43 lb. total
Week 18: 289, -4 lb./-47 lb. total
Week 19: 287, -2 lb./-49 lb. total
Saturday, May 4, 2013
No Quitters Here
90 days. I have worked out exactly 90 days since the end of December. 5 days a week for 18 weeks is 90 days.
A few weeks into working out I remember saying to Mom, "I really don't want to exercise, but I do it anyway. Will there come a time when I want to do this?" She said there would but I'm not sure I believed her.
This week we were talking about my weight loss and progress and it occurred to me that somewhere along the way it had happened. I am now someone who likes to work out. I no longer dread it. In fact, I crave the satisfaction I feel at the end of a workout. I love the way it makes me feel, physically (incredibly strong) and mentally (strong, but also accomplished and clear-headed). It happened without my even realizing it.
That's not to say it's been easy-going. There have been more than a few workouts that made me cry. Runs are insanely hard. I've cried during 3 of those. But you know what? I NEVER quit. Not once. I kept going until the workout was done. I used to be a quitter. Not anymore.
Today's weigh-in: I stepped on the scale hoping for something. Anything. I'm getting so close to 50 pounds lost I'm becoming anxious and a tad impatient - 2 things weight loss doesn't care about. I was pleasantly surprised to see a 4 pound loss which put me at 289 - out of the 290's! Only 3 pounds to go until I meet me first 50 pound goal, woohoo!
Starting weight: 336 lb.
Goal weight: 150 lb.
Week 1: 328, -8 lb.
Week 2: 325, -3 lb./-11 lb. total
Week 3: 323, -2 lb./-13 lb. total
Week 4: 317, -6 lb./-19 lb. total
Week 5: 314, -3 lb./-22 lb. total
Week 6: 312, -2 lb./-24 lb. total
Week 7: 312, -0 lb./-24 lb. total
Week 8: 306, -6 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 9: 306, -0 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 10: 306, -0 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 11: 304, -2 lb./-32 lb. total
Week 12: 300, -4 lb./-36 lb. total
Week 13: 300, -0 lb./-36 lb. total
Week 14: 300, -0 lb./-36 lb. total
Week 15: 298, -2 lb./-38 lb. total
Week 16: 295, -3 lb./-41 lb. total
Week 17: 293, -2 lb./-43 lb. total
Week 18: 289, -4 lb./-47 lb. total
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Inching Along... Or Am I Rolling?
17 weeks ago I started this journey. It has certainly seemed slow going at times, but 4 months have gone by quite quickly when I think about it.
There have been easy days and days that proved quite challenging. But you know, I haven't had one single day when I seriously considered giving up. Not one. Eating right is just what I do. Exercising is just what I do. Not feeling sorry for myself or playing victim is just what I do (most of the time :-) and it feels fantastic! I'm coming to realize this is not something I'm going to quit. I don't live in fear that tomorrow I won't be able to do it. It's just what I do. I have a new way if life. And it rocks.
I stepped on the scale this morning to find myself 2 pounds closer to my short-term and long-term goals. I am now down 43 pounds!!! I have 7 more to go before meeting my first 50 pound goal and rewarding myself with a day trip to Biltmore Estate!
Starting weight: 336 lb.
Goal weight: 150 lb.
Week 1: 328, -8 lb.
Week 2: 325, -3 lb./-11 lb. total
Week 3: 323, -2 lb./-13 lb. total
Week 4: 317, -6 lb./-19 lb. total
Week 5: 314, -3 lb./-22 lb. total
Week 6: 312, -2 lb./-24 lb. total
Week 7: 312, -0 lb./-24 lb. total
Week 8: 306, -6 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 9: 306, -0 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 10: 306, -0 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 11: 304, -2 lb./-32 lb. total
Week 12: 300, -4 lb./-36 lb. total
Week 13: 300, -0 lb./-36 lb. total
Week 14: 300, -0 lb./-36 lb. total
Week 15: 298, -2 lb./-38 lb. total
Week 16: 295, -3 lb./-41 lb. total
Week 17: 293, -2 lb./-43 lb. total
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
I Do So Love a New Stroller
I was super excited to find a great jogging stroller at a fairly low price on Craigslist! I picked it up Tuesday afternoon and I couldn't wait for my Wednesday run.
Today is Wednesday. Today I learned something about jogging strollers. First, most jogging strollers have a fixed front wheel. In order to turn it, you must push down on the handlebar a tad. I knew this ahead of time and practiced a tad with it here in the driveway/yard. Not as hard as I had expected. Yay!
What I hadn't anticipated was that it takes FAR more energy to push a stroller while running than it does to run freely, arms swinging. The stroller itself rides so smoothly it feels like nothing to push. It's the controlling your arms, holding them in the same spot while running, when your arms naturally move, that got me. My energy was zapped before we were half done. The girls took him at that point and I ran the last half without the stroller, but it was too late. I ended up crying for most of the last 3 minutes, and for a solid 2 minutes afterwards during our cool down walk.
Lesson learned. I still love my new jogging stroller, but I'll be using it for walking until running becomes a bit easier for me. The girls can walk him in the meantime.
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Sweet Sixteen
Week 16... week 16!!! That's almost 4 months! I have been eating right and exercising for 16 weeks now. I have worked out Monday-Friday for 16 weeks. I changed my mind 16 weeks ago. More importantly, I changed my LIFE 16 weeks ago.
Guess what I know now? I know that I am strong. Stronger than I ever thought possible. I know that I have stamina, will power, and enough determination for 10 people. Oh! And I'm a runner! I'm not fast or good at it yet, but I AM a runner.
Is my life easy? Heck no. There are more stressors in my life right now than there have been in quite awhile, but the exercise helps beyond measure with that. I may weigh just a tad under 300, and I may still look like a blob, but my insides don't match my outsides. My insides feel like I've lost 100 pounds already. :-)
Week 16 was run-of-the-mill. Nothing crazy good or crazy bad going on. Just life. But a small milestone was passed this morning when I stepped on the scale and saw a 3 pound loss because it put me over 40! I am officially down 41 pounds!!! Woohoo! 50, here I come.
This has been a roller coaster ride, to say the least. Some weeks are great, some weeks I trudge through and can't wait to see the end of. Week 17 will find me buckled in and ready! And determined.
Starting weight: 336 lb.
Goal weight: 150 lb.
Week 1: 328, -8 lb.
Week 2: 325, -3 lb./-11 lb. total
Week 3: 323, -2 lb./-13 lb. total
Week 4: 317, -6 lb./-19 lb. total
Week 5: 314, -3 lb./-22 lb. total
Week 6: 312, -2 lb./-24 lb. total
Week 7: 312, -0 lb./-24 lb. total
Week 8: 306, -6 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 9: 306, -0 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 10: 306, -0 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 11: 304, -2 lb./-32 lb. total
Week 12: 300, -4 lb./-36 lb. total
Week 13: 300, -0 lb./-36 lb. total
Week 14: 300, -0 lb./-36 lb. total
Week 15: 298, -2 lb./-38 lb. total
Week 16: 295, -3 lb./-41 lb. total
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
So Excited... Big News!
I do have some big news, but first I want to say my heart is broken and goes out to all affected by the Boston Marathon bombings. They are in my thoughts and prayers.
I bought a T-shirt today from the More Than Just Me foundation. They are doing wonderful things, raising awareness and funds for Cystic Fibrosis. Right now they are selling shirts to benefit those in Boston hurting, grieving, recovering. The front of the shirt says "We Will Run" and the back says "Running for Boston 4/15/13". You should definitely check them out!
Okay, so my big news. I am registered for my first 5k! The Electric Run is at the end of July. It's a night run filled with great music and lightshows, and lots and lots of glow sticks. It's going to be super fun, crazy hard, and so worth it! I get ridiculously excited just thinking about it! :-)
Now, onto Saturday's weigh-in. I think this is going to be a good week.
I bought a T-shirt today from the More Than Just Me foundation. They are doing wonderful things, raising awareness and funds for Cystic Fibrosis. Right now they are selling shirts to benefit those in Boston hurting, grieving, recovering. The front of the shirt says "We Will Run" and the back says "Running for Boston 4/15/13". You should definitely check them out!
Okay, so my big news. I am registered for my first 5k! The Electric Run is at the end of July. It's a night run filled with great music and lightshows, and lots and lots of glow sticks. It's going to be super fun, crazy hard, and so worth it! I get ridiculously excited just thinking about it! :-)
Now, onto Saturday's weigh-in. I think this is going to be a good week.
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Celebrate Good Times, Come On!
That's right, a celebration is in order! After 2 weeks of losing nothing, I lost 2 pounds this week. "That 's good, but why the celebration?", you ask? Because my weight no longer starts with a 3!!! I am finally under 300!!! I feel like throwing a party. :-)
It has been a hard week and a half, my husband lost his job. That felt incredibly scary at the beginning but I've stayed positive (after a few hours of balling my eyes out and wondering what in the world we are going to do), and 6 days later our only vehicle died. Found out it would cause a few thousand dollars to fix, which we didn't have (and were still making payments). It felt like the world was caving in around me, but I got up everyday and exercised and did my thing anyway. And it paid off, finally.
We are mobile again, and while still unsure where this unemployment journey will take us, I'm counting my blessings everyday and believing a blessing will come from this. I thank all who have been praying and ask for continued prayers for my family.
Starting weight: 336 lb.
Goal weight: 150 lb.
Week 1: 328, -8 lb.
Week 2: 325, -3 lb./-11 lb. total
Week 3: 323, -2 lb./-13 lb. total
Week 4: 317, -6 lb./-19 lb. total
Week 5: 314, -3 lb./-22 lb. total
Week 6: 312, -2 lb./-24 lb. total
Week 7: 312, -0 lb./-24 lb. total
Week 8: 306, -6 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 9: 306, -0 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 10: 306, -0 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 11: 304, -2 lb./-32 lb. total
Week 12: 300, -4 lb./-36 lb. total
Week 13: 300, -0 lb./-36 lb. total
Week 14: 300, -0 lb./-36 lb. total
Week 15: 298, -2 lb./-38 lb. total
It has been a hard week and a half, my husband lost his job. That felt incredibly scary at the beginning but I've stayed positive (after a few hours of balling my eyes out and wondering what in the world we are going to do), and 6 days later our only vehicle died. Found out it would cause a few thousand dollars to fix, which we didn't have (and were still making payments). It felt like the world was caving in around me, but I got up everyday and exercised and did my thing anyway. And it paid off, finally.
We are mobile again, and while still unsure where this unemployment journey will take us, I'm counting my blessings everyday and believing a blessing will come from this. I thank all who have been praying and ask for continued prayers for my family.
Starting weight: 336 lb.
Goal weight: 150 lb.
Week 1: 328, -8 lb.
Week 2: 325, -3 lb./-11 lb. total
Week 3: 323, -2 lb./-13 lb. total
Week 4: 317, -6 lb./-19 lb. total
Week 5: 314, -3 lb./-22 lb. total
Week 6: 312, -2 lb./-24 lb. total
Week 7: 312, -0 lb./-24 lb. total
Week 8: 306, -6 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 9: 306, -0 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 10: 306, -0 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 11: 304, -2 lb./-32 lb. total
Week 12: 300, -4 lb./-36 lb. total
Week 13: 300, -0 lb./-36 lb. total
Week 14: 300, -0 lb./-36 lb. total
Week 15: 298, -2 lb./-38 lb. total
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Something's Gotta Give
Two weeks have passed since I last posted, and I have nothing to show for it, at least not scale-wise. I had a zero last week and faced another one today. I'm okay with it, this won't derail me. But I wish I could figure out what changes I need to make to get things moving. I've done Weight Watchers twice before and had lost 50 lb. by this point both times. I know this is now and I shouldn't compare, but something is holding me back.
On the running front, we've had to take a short break this week. I've missed it and am ready to get back to it. One of the last days we ran my sister got held up and I didn't have my phone. I waited half an hour and thought about just walking, but Katelyn said I should do my run anyway. I really wasn't sure I could do it all on my own and was a bit afraid to try. She said "You can do hard things, Mom" so I decided to give it a go. It was hard, but not harder. I didn't cry or want to quit. I did it on my own, all by myself!
Moving on to week 15. Going to spend my weekend mulling over anything I could change to budge that scale.
Starting weight: 336 lb.
Goal weight: 150 lb.
Week 1: 328, -8 lb.
Week 2: 325, -3 lb./-11 lb. total
Week 3: 323, -2 lb./-13 lb. total
Week 4: 317, -6 lb./-19 lb. total
Week 5: 314, -3 lb./-22 lb. total
Week 6: 312, -2 lb./-24 lb. total
Week 7: 312, -0 lb./-24 lb. total
Week 8: 306, -6 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 9: 306, -0 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 10: 306, -0 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 11: 304, -2 lb./-32 lb. total
Week 12: 300, -4 lb./-36 lb. total
Week 13: 300, -0 lb./-36 lb. total
Week 14: 300, -0 lb./-36 lb. total
On the running front, we've had to take a short break this week. I've missed it and am ready to get back to it. One of the last days we ran my sister got held up and I didn't have my phone. I waited half an hour and thought about just walking, but Katelyn said I should do my run anyway. I really wasn't sure I could do it all on my own and was a bit afraid to try. She said "You can do hard things, Mom" so I decided to give it a go. It was hard, but not harder. I didn't cry or want to quit. I did it on my own, all by myself!
Moving on to week 15. Going to spend my weekend mulling over anything I could change to budge that scale.
Starting weight: 336 lb.
Goal weight: 150 lb.
Week 1: 328, -8 lb.
Week 2: 325, -3 lb./-11 lb. total
Week 3: 323, -2 lb./-13 lb. total
Week 4: 317, -6 lb./-19 lb. total
Week 5: 314, -3 lb./-22 lb. total
Week 6: 312, -2 lb./-24 lb. total
Week 7: 312, -0 lb./-24 lb. total
Week 8: 306, -6 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 9: 306, -0 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 10: 306, -0 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 11: 304, -2 lb./-32 lb. total
Week 12: 300, -4 lb./-36 lb. total
Week 13: 300, -0 lb./-36 lb. total
Week 14: 300, -0 lb./-36 lb. total
Saturday, March 23, 2013
My First Run
My sis and I started the C25K program Wednesday evening. I was full of excitement and anticipation. I was under no impression it was going to be easy, in fact, I was a bit afraid I was going to quit halfway through. We started with a 5 minute walking warm-up. With every minute that passed I got a little more nervous. Before I knew it the timer read 15 seconds, then 14, then 13, and so on, and the moment of truth was right in front of me. The first 60 second jog was okay, followed by a 90 second walk. The second one seemed a bit harder, and by the time I got to the fourth and fifth ones, it seemed the 90 second walk was barely enough time to catch my breath. But I made it! All the way to the end.
Friday was our second day of week one, same plan as the first day. I started the day feeling a little sore in the abs and shins. I was anticipating my shins possibly bothering me. If they did I have no idea because everything else I felt was trumped by feeling like I couldn't catch my breath between jogs. It seemed just the slightest bit harder than the first day. In fact, I literally cried the last 35 seconds of the last 60 second jog. When my kiddos saw my tears they sprang into action. Katelyn hollered, "Mom! Mom I'm getting your water!" She then ran down the entire length of the track to get it to me. And Joshua told me, "Mom, you can do it. Just keep doing hard things. You'll get this." Precious!!!
So, we'll see how Monday goes. I think my head has got to be all in to make the difference, and Friday I was struggling with unrelated things. But I still consider it a successful start, and am so very thankful to have my sister on this journey with me. She is a blessing beyond measure.
And the weigh-in! Today was my 12th weigh-in. I needed 5 pounds to get under 300, but was expecting 1 or 2 pounds at best. I stepped on the scale and was pleasantly surprised with a 4 pound loss. So I am sitting exactly on the number I want to be under, and that's okay by me. This coming week with every workout I do, I'll be picturing a crumbling 300 in my mind's eye. When it's gone, it's gone for good and I'll never see it on my scale again!
Starting weight: 336 lb.
Goal weight: 150 lb.
Week 1: 328, -8 lb.
Week 2: 325, -3 lb./-11 lb. total
Week 3: 323, -2 lb./-13 lb. total
Week 4: 317, -6 lb./-19 lb. total
Week 5: 314, -3 lb./-22 lb. total
Week 6: 312, -2 lb./-24 lb. total
Week 7: 312, -0 lb./-24 lb. total
Week 8: 306, -6 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 9: 306, -0 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 10: 306, -0 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 11: 304, -2 lb./-32 lb. total
Week 12: 300, -4 lb./-36 lb. total
Friday was our second day of week one, same plan as the first day. I started the day feeling a little sore in the abs and shins. I was anticipating my shins possibly bothering me. If they did I have no idea because everything else I felt was trumped by feeling like I couldn't catch my breath between jogs. It seemed just the slightest bit harder than the first day. In fact, I literally cried the last 35 seconds of the last 60 second jog. When my kiddos saw my tears they sprang into action. Katelyn hollered, "Mom! Mom I'm getting your water!" She then ran down the entire length of the track to get it to me. And Joshua told me, "Mom, you can do it. Just keep doing hard things. You'll get this." Precious!!!
So, we'll see how Monday goes. I think my head has got to be all in to make the difference, and Friday I was struggling with unrelated things. But I still consider it a successful start, and am so very thankful to have my sister on this journey with me. She is a blessing beyond measure.
And the weigh-in! Today was my 12th weigh-in. I needed 5 pounds to get under 300, but was expecting 1 or 2 pounds at best. I stepped on the scale and was pleasantly surprised with a 4 pound loss. So I am sitting exactly on the number I want to be under, and that's okay by me. This coming week with every workout I do, I'll be picturing a crumbling 300 in my mind's eye. When it's gone, it's gone for good and I'll never see it on my scale again!
Starting weight: 336 lb.
Goal weight: 150 lb.
Week 1: 328, -8 lb.
Week 2: 325, -3 lb./-11 lb. total
Week 3: 323, -2 lb./-13 lb. total
Week 4: 317, -6 lb./-19 lb. total
Week 5: 314, -3 lb./-22 lb. total
Week 6: 312, -2 lb./-24 lb. total
Week 7: 312, -0 lb./-24 lb. total
Week 8: 306, -6 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 9: 306, -0 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 10: 306, -0 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 11: 304, -2 lb./-32 lb. total
Week 12: 300, -4 lb./-36 lb. total
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
I Can't Stand the Rain
On my windoooooow. Sorry, channeling Missy Elliot there. Lol! But really, rain always puts a damper on my day, but never as much as it did yesterday when I was so fired up to start the C25K program and couldn't... because it was cold and rainy ALL day. But that's life and tomorrow is the now the big day! My sister, Lisa, will be doing it with me and I keep picturing us crossing the finish line at our first 5K together. :-) I realize running is not something I've ever done before and I really don't know how it's going to go, but I 'm still excited!
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Another Zero?
As you could tell from my post last Saturday, I spent the day a little out of sorts. By Sunday I felt much better and by Monday I was ready to get the ball rolling again. The week was pretty uneventful. Oh, but I did finally buy my first pair of running shoes!!! I plan to start the C25K program next week. I can't wait to let you know how it goes.
As for this week, did the scale finally budge again? Am I getting closer to weighing under 300 for the first time in a really long time? See for yourself.
Starting weight: 336 lb.
Goal weight: 150 lb.
Week 1: 328, -8 lb.
Week 2: 325, -3 lb./-11 lb. total
Week 3: 323, -2 lb./-13 lb. total
Week 4: 317, -6 lb./-19 lb. total
Week 5: 314, -3 lb./-22 lb. total
Week 6: 312, -2 lb./-24 lb. total
Week 7: 312, -0 lb./-24 lb. total
Week 8: 306, -6 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 9: 306, -0 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 10: 306, -0 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 11: 304, -2 lb./-32 lb. total
As for this week, did the scale finally budge again? Am I getting closer to weighing under 300 for the first time in a really long time? See for yourself.
Starting weight: 336 lb.
Goal weight: 150 lb.
Week 1: 328, -8 lb.
Week 2: 325, -3 lb./-11 lb. total
Week 3: 323, -2 lb./-13 lb. total
Week 4: 317, -6 lb./-19 lb. total
Week 5: 314, -3 lb./-22 lb. total
Week 6: 312, -2 lb./-24 lb. total
Week 7: 312, -0 lb./-24 lb. total
Week 8: 306, -6 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 9: 306, -0 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 10: 306, -0 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 11: 304, -2 lb./-32 lb. total
Saturday, March 9, 2013
*Sigh*
Okay. So, week 10 has come to an end and once again I step on the scale and it doesn't budge. Stuck at 306. In the past 4 weeks I've faced 3 zeros. Now I'd be lying to myself if I said I wasn't feeling some disappointment. The first one was okay, it happens. The second one really was okay too, it came in the heels of losing 6 pounds in one week, completely understandable. But this last one made me want to eat a piece if pizza and go back to bed. *sigh*
I am by no means quitting or giving up, but I don't understand why the standstill all of a sudden. I'm eating my points like I should, still exercising Monday-Friday (switching up the type of exercise every 2 weeks). I'm drinking a bit more water everyday. So what gives?
Gah! I probably shouldn't even be writing this post until I've had time to mull it over for awhile, but this is real. This is what's going on this week.
Starting weight: 336 lb.
Goal weight: 150 lb.
Week 1: 328, -8 lb.
Week 2: 325, -3 lb./-11 lb. total
Week 3: 323, -2 lb./-13 lb. total
Week 4: 317, -6 lb./-19 lb. total
Week 5: 314, -3 lb./-22 lb. total
Week 6: 312, -2 lb./-24 lb. total
Week 7: 312, -0 lb./-24 lb. total
Week 8: 306, -6 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 9: 306, -0 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 10: 306, -0 lb./-30 lb. total
I am by no means quitting or giving up, but I don't understand why the standstill all of a sudden. I'm eating my points like I should, still exercising Monday-Friday (switching up the type of exercise every 2 weeks). I'm drinking a bit more water everyday. So what gives?
Gah! I probably shouldn't even be writing this post until I've had time to mull it over for awhile, but this is real. This is what's going on this week.
Starting weight: 336 lb.
Goal weight: 150 lb.
Week 1: 328, -8 lb.
Week 2: 325, -3 lb./-11 lb. total
Week 3: 323, -2 lb./-13 lb. total
Week 4: 317, -6 lb./-19 lb. total
Week 5: 314, -3 lb./-22 lb. total
Week 6: 312, -2 lb./-24 lb. total
Week 7: 312, -0 lb./-24 lb. total
Week 8: 306, -6 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 9: 306, -0 lb./-30 lb. total
Week 10: 306, -0 lb./-30 lb. total
Sunday, February 24, 2013
No Room for Disappointment
I didn't post week 7. I meant to, I just didn't get around to it. There really wasn't 't much to report, as the scale did not budge at my weigh-in. It happens. I know it happens. In the past it would have dampened my spirits, but this time I wasn't upset in the least. I literally said out loud, "Eyes on week 8" and got on with it.
I did decide to do a couple of things differently at the start of week 8. I've been drinking only water since December 29th, but realized maybe I wasn't drinking quite enough. So I set a goal of 10 8 oz. glasses a day and kept track. I also decided a change in exercise might do me good again. After two straight weeks if walking 17 miles, I decided to try my body at Zumba. At first I was a little worried that my 20-minute Zumba DVD wasn't enough because the walking I had been doing took 45-60 minutes each day. I quickly realized Zumba is crazy intense! I likely burned more calories in those 20 minutes than in an hour of walking. I said all week it was torture. It was HARD! I wanted to quit halfway in every day, but I didn't. It'll be a little while before I work up to the 50-minute DVD.
Yesterday was weigh-in day. Did my changes pay off? Did the scale budge, even a little? It sure did... 6 pounds, to be exact!!! That brings my total weight loss to 30 pounds. 7 pounds to go before I'm out of the 300s. Pretty good week if you ask me.
Starting weight: 336 lb.
Goal weight: 150 lb.
Week 1: 328, -8 lb.
Week 2: 325, -3 lb./-11 lb. total
Week 3: 323, -2 lb./-13 lb. total
Week 4: 317, -6 lb./-19 lb. total
Week 5: 314, -3 lb./-22 lb. total
Week 6: 312, -2 lb./-24 lb. total
Week 7: 312, -0 lb./-24 lb. total
Week 8: 306, -6 lb./-30 lb. total
I did decide to do a couple of things differently at the start of week 8. I've been drinking only water since December 29th, but realized maybe I wasn't drinking quite enough. So I set a goal of 10 8 oz. glasses a day and kept track. I also decided a change in exercise might do me good again. After two straight weeks if walking 17 miles, I decided to try my body at Zumba. At first I was a little worried that my 20-minute Zumba DVD wasn't enough because the walking I had been doing took 45-60 minutes each day. I quickly realized Zumba is crazy intense! I likely burned more calories in those 20 minutes than in an hour of walking. I said all week it was torture. It was HARD! I wanted to quit halfway in every day, but I didn't. It'll be a little while before I work up to the 50-minute DVD.
Yesterday was weigh-in day. Did my changes pay off? Did the scale budge, even a little? It sure did... 6 pounds, to be exact!!! That brings my total weight loss to 30 pounds. 7 pounds to go before I'm out of the 300s. Pretty good week if you ask me.
Starting weight: 336 lb.
Goal weight: 150 lb.
Week 1: 328, -8 lb.
Week 2: 325, -3 lb./-11 lb. total
Week 3: 323, -2 lb./-13 lb. total
Week 4: 317, -6 lb./-19 lb. total
Week 5: 314, -3 lb./-22 lb. total
Week 6: 312, -2 lb./-24 lb. total
Week 7: 312, -0 lb./-24 lb. total
Week 8: 306, -6 lb./-30 lb. total
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Bumps In the Road
Week 6 brought with it a few minor setbacks. I started the week out with a blister on my left heel from a bit of walking I did Sunday afternoon (sock rode down in my shoe without my realizing it). Then Tuesday evening I stood up from Joshua's bed and felt immediate pain in my right ankle. It was bad enough that I hobbled the rest of the day. I was afraid I wasn't going to be able to walk the rest of the week. Wednesday it felt a bit better and I was able to walk, just had to modify a bit. By Thursday I was good to go, and by Friday I had put in all 17 miles I was aiming for this week! So it was a week of learning to roll with the punches, as I'm sure the punches will come again and may be much harder from time to time.
And here are the results:
Starting weight: 336 lb.
Goal weight: 150 lb.
Week 1: 328, -8 lb.
Week 2: 325, -3 lb./-11 lb. total
Week 3: 323, -2 lb./-13 lb. total
Week 4: 317, -6 lb./-19 lb. total
Week 5: 314, -3 lb./-22 lb. total
Week 6: 312, -2 lb./-24 lb. total
And here are the results:
Starting weight: 336 lb.
Goal weight: 150 lb.
Week 1: 328, -8 lb.
Week 2: 325, -3 lb./-11 lb. total
Week 3: 323, -2 lb./-13 lb. total
Week 4: 317, -6 lb./-19 lb. total
Week 5: 314, -3 lb./-22 lb. total
Week 6: 312, -2 lb./-24 lb. total
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Still Here and Going Strong
Sorry for the delay in posts but I'm having computer issues and finally attempting this from my daughter's iPod.
So week four, after three weeks of walking 13 miles, I decided to do something a little different. You may think I'm nuts but Sweatin' to the Oldies won out and Richard Simmons kicked my butt that first day! I didn't quit and at the end of the week it really paid off with a 6 pound weight loss! Can you say one happy mama? I know I will have really great weeks like that here and there so I wasn't exactly surprised, but I was really excited to see that number.
Week five I decided to stick with Richard Simmons for one more week. After my 6 pound loss the week before I was expecting 1-2 pounds this week, if that. That 's just how it goes and that 's okay. I was pleasantly surprised with a 3 pound loss when I stepped on the scale! I am down 22 pounds in my first 5 weeks!!!
Numbers out of the way, let's talk about other important stuff. Exercise is no longer something I dread. In fact, I look forward to it. It's just what I do now, first thing in the morning usually. That's a milestone for me. Also, went to a birthday party Sunday and realized for the first time I didn't have to resist the cake and ice cream and other fatty foods, I honestly didn't want them in the first place. That is major.
Looking forward to next week's weigh-in, I'm back to walking this week but with The Biggest Loser: Powerwalk this time and it is crazy hard! I'm aiming for 17 miles this week. Also taking this advice: Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper. So eating most of my points early on in the day and eating nothing after 6:00 pm. We'll see if these changes make any difference come Saturday.
Starting weight: 336 lb.
Goal weight: 150 lb.
Week 1: 328, -8 lb.
Week 2: 325, -3 lb./-11 total
Week 3: 323, -2 lb./-13 total
Week 4: 317, -6 lb./-19 total
Week 5: 314, -3 lb./-22 total
So week four, after three weeks of walking 13 miles, I decided to do something a little different. You may think I'm nuts but Sweatin' to the Oldies won out and Richard Simmons kicked my butt that first day! I didn't quit and at the end of the week it really paid off with a 6 pound weight loss! Can you say one happy mama? I know I will have really great weeks like that here and there so I wasn't exactly surprised, but I was really excited to see that number.
Week five I decided to stick with Richard Simmons for one more week. After my 6 pound loss the week before I was expecting 1-2 pounds this week, if that. That 's just how it goes and that 's okay. I was pleasantly surprised with a 3 pound loss when I stepped on the scale! I am down 22 pounds in my first 5 weeks!!!
Numbers out of the way, let's talk about other important stuff. Exercise is no longer something I dread. In fact, I look forward to it. It's just what I do now, first thing in the morning usually. That's a milestone for me. Also, went to a birthday party Sunday and realized for the first time I didn't have to resist the cake and ice cream and other fatty foods, I honestly didn't want them in the first place. That is major.
Looking forward to next week's weigh-in, I'm back to walking this week but with The Biggest Loser: Powerwalk this time and it is crazy hard! I'm aiming for 17 miles this week. Also taking this advice: Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper. So eating most of my points early on in the day and eating nothing after 6:00 pm. We'll see if these changes make any difference come Saturday.
Starting weight: 336 lb.
Goal weight: 150 lb.
Week 1: 328, -8 lb.
Week 2: 325, -3 lb./-11 total
Week 3: 323, -2 lb./-13 total
Week 4: 317, -6 lb./-19 total
Week 5: 314, -3 lb./-22 total
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Switching It Up
This week I walked 13 miles again!!! Yay me! That's 39 miles in 3 weeks. And while I'm going to continue walking some weeks, I'm thinking it might be time to switch it up a bit. For now, it has to be something I can do in my own living room. I have the Zumba DVDs, but I am SO not ready for that yet. I also have (no laughing allowed) a couple of Richard Simmons Sweatin' to the Oldies DVDs. Seriously, quit laughing. I love them. I especially like that the people he has working out with him are people still on the journey usually, but they are doing it! I loved Tae-Bo back when it was new and actually saw some Tae-Bo DVDs at Wal-Mart and at Sam's Club the other day, but I don't think I'm there yet either. But I do need a change. So, we'll see what Monday brings.
Today was weigh-in day. I lost exactly 2 pounds this week! I'll take those 2 pounds and keep on moving.You should know that I've decided to put black electrical tape over the number that comes after the decimal point on the scale. I've decided I just need a nice whole number. So, I've adjusted the numbers from the last few weeks and from here on out you'll be seeing no decimal point.
_________________________________________________________________________________
Starting weight: 336.0 lb.Goal weight: 150 lb.
Week 1: 328 (-8 lb.)
Week 2: 325 (-3 lb. / -11 lb. total)
Week 3: 323 (-2 lb. / -13 lb. total)
Today was weigh-in day. I lost exactly 2 pounds this week! I'll take those 2 pounds and keep on moving.You should know that I've decided to put black electrical tape over the number that comes after the decimal point on the scale. I've decided I just need a nice whole number. So, I've adjusted the numbers from the last few weeks and from here on out you'll be seeing no decimal point.
_________________________________________________________________________________
Starting weight: 336.0 lb.Goal weight: 150 lb.
Week 1: 328 (-8 lb.)
Week 2: 325 (-3 lb. / -11 lb. total)
Week 3: 323 (-2 lb. / -13 lb. total)
Saturday, January 12, 2013
You Can Do Hod Sings
This is going to sound perfectly crazy, but the toughest thing for me this week has been getting all my points in. I've never had this problem before, EVER. But everyday this week by dinnertime I'm just not wanting to eat much of anything. I'm thinking this coming week I'll try to get most of my points in at breakfast and lunch and see if that helps in some way. Eating when I really don't want to be eating is hard. And truly, I never though the words "when I really don't want to be eating" would ever leave these lips!
Today was my second weigh-in. I lost 3 lb, bringing my total weight lost to 11 lb. so far! I'm happy with every single pound, every half pound, every .2 pounds... as long as I'm losing, I'm good. I fully realize there will be weeks that I don't lose a darn thing and I'll be ready for and okay with that too. As long as I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing to take this extra weight off, I'm okay with the scale.
I walked 13 miles again this week. I've walked 26 miles in 2 weeks time. I can't remember the last time I walked 26 miles. Some of those miles were fairly easy and some of those miles were so hard I wanted to quit. But you know what gets me through them? I'm doing a walk-at-home video (love Leslie Sansone!), so the girls sometimes get into it too. On one of my first days walking I turned to Allison who was taking a break on the couch and I said "This is SO hard Alli. I can't do this. I want to quit!", to which she replied "You can do hod sings Mommy. Anybody can if dems wants to." Such wisdom from a 5 year old. And you're right baby girl, I CAN do hard things. I'm doing them for me and for you and your brothers and sister.
I've got this.
_______________________________________________________________
Starting weight: 336.0 lb.Goal weight: 150 lb.
Week 1: 328 (-8 lb.)
Week 2: 325 (-3 lb. / total loss -11 lb.)
Today was my second weigh-in. I lost 3 lb, bringing my total weight lost to 11 lb. so far! I'm happy with every single pound, every half pound, every .2 pounds... as long as I'm losing, I'm good. I fully realize there will be weeks that I don't lose a darn thing and I'll be ready for and okay with that too. As long as I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing to take this extra weight off, I'm okay with the scale.
I walked 13 miles again this week. I've walked 26 miles in 2 weeks time. I can't remember the last time I walked 26 miles. Some of those miles were fairly easy and some of those miles were so hard I wanted to quit. But you know what gets me through them? I'm doing a walk-at-home video (love Leslie Sansone!), so the girls sometimes get into it too. On one of my first days walking I turned to Allison who was taking a break on the couch and I said "This is SO hard Alli. I can't do this. I want to quit!", to which she replied "You can do hod sings Mommy. Anybody can if dems wants to." Such wisdom from a 5 year old. And you're right baby girl, I CAN do hard things. I'm doing them for me and for you and your brothers and sister.
I've got this.
_______________________________________________________________
Starting weight: 336.0 lb.Goal weight: 150 lb.
Week 1: 328 (-8 lb.)
Week 2: 325 (-3 lb. / total loss -11 lb.)
Saturday, January 5, 2013
The First Weigh-In!
Today was my first weigh-in. I've avoided posting stats before now because I weighed more a week ago than I did at nine months pregnant with any of my four kiddos! That's a tough pill to swallow.
Starting weight: 336.0 lb.
Goal weight: 150 lb.
I decided last night that whatever the scale said this morning I was more than happy with my progress this week. I stuck to my points allowance and I managed to walk 13 miles since Monday. Some of those miles were physically tough and mentally excruciating, but I did them anyway. Did my hard work and perseverance pay off?
Week 1: 328.0 lb. (-8 lb.)
Yay!!! It sure did! I know I have a long way to go, but everyday is a step in the right direction. When I hit the 50 lb. mark, we already have a special little day trip planned. I can't wait for that! I'm still trying to decide what special thing we'll do when I hit the 100 lb. mark, but I've got some time to think about that one.
Today, I'm not treating myself in any special way. I'm going to continue to eat right, take this one day off from exercise, and get right back to it tomorrow. My kids need this. My family needs this. And I need this.
Starting weight: 336.0 lb.
Goal weight: 150 lb.
I decided last night that whatever the scale said this morning I was more than happy with my progress this week. I stuck to my points allowance and I managed to walk 13 miles since Monday. Some of those miles were physically tough and mentally excruciating, but I did them anyway. Did my hard work and perseverance pay off?
Week 1: 328.0 lb. (-8 lb.)
Yay!!! It sure did! I know I have a long way to go, but everyday is a step in the right direction. When I hit the 50 lb. mark, we already have a special little day trip planned. I can't wait for that! I'm still trying to decide what special thing we'll do when I hit the 100 lb. mark, but I've got some time to think about that one.
Today, I'm not treating myself in any special way. I'm going to continue to eat right, take this one day off from exercise, and get right back to it tomorrow. My kids need this. My family needs this. And I need this.
Pictures Are Hard to Bear
If you are my FaceBook friend, you know that I had literally millions of pictures (okay, maybe not millions) of my kiddos, but only a handful of myself. And most of the pics in that handful were old. REALLY old. I am even going to admit that I recently posted a picture on FB of myself with others, and I blocked almost every single girl I went to high school with from seeing it. Yep, pictures are hard to bear.
But not here, and not anymore. My children deserve to have pictures of me, with me. They are going to want to look back at old photos someday and see their childhoods painted there, but how will that be if I am in none of them? They spend 99% of their time with me. How can all the pictures have no mommy?
So, here it is.
So, here it is.
This is me. The one hiding behind the curly-haired beauty in the in the red shirt. This is me after years of putting myself on the back burner and then turning if off completely. Maybe I’ll get used to being in pictures sometime down the road. Maybe I’ll be able to look at them without cringing in the near future. Until then, I’ll force myself to post them anyway. Then maybe mirrors will become easier too.
And So I Begin Again
I want to start with something I read recently in a wonderful book by Lysa TerKeurst called Made to Crave. She quotes a friend of hers, E. Titmus: “When I get all caught up in how unfair it is that my friend is skinny and doesn’t have to work at it, how can she eat what she wants when she wants, and how much it stinks that I can’t be like her, I remind myself that God didn’t make me to be her. You see, he knew even before I was born that I could easily allow food to be an idol in my life, that I would go to food, instead of to Him, to fulfill my needs. And in His great wisdom, He created my body so that it would experience the consequences of such a choice, so that I would continually be drawn back into His arms. He wants me to come to Him for fulfillment, emotional healing, comfort – and if I could go to food for that and never gain an ounce, well then, what would I need God for?”
Can you say “A-ha!”? I cannot tell you how many times I’ve thought “Why can’t I just wake up tomorrow and this burden be gone?” I read this, then re-read it, then re-read it again… and again, and again. Such a revelation in a paragraph! Now I’m left to wonder how I didn’t know this before. It makes absolute perfect sense, yet I couldn’t come to this conclusion on my own. Amazing.
So, this journey begins again for the very last time. Twice before I’ve gotten off to a good start only to fall off the wagon, as they say (and many times my start wasn’t so good at all). In my attempts to lose this weight before I’ve merely tried to eat right and exercise more. This time God is in control and I am letting Him do what He will. I am seeking His guidance, grace, and wisdom every moment of everyday. And the funny thing is I have a feeling this won’t just change how I eat or the way I see food. I have a feeling, it’s going to change my life.
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