One Determined Mama

 My sister and I had a converstion this week about willpower and determination. I told her I wish I could bottle mine up and give it to those struggling to lose weight who really need it. We all know it doesn't work that way, but it the conversation did get me thinking. 

I've lost 50 pounds twice before on Weight Watchers. Both times I had barely hit that milestone when I found out I was pregnant (with Joshua, then Aaron). As proud as I was to be 50 pounds down, finding out I was pregnant was a relief. It gave me a reason to quit! Both times I struggled to stay on track after the first 6 weeks or so, and both times I could feel myself unraveling toward the end, and fast. Being pregnant was the perfect cover-up. No one ever had to know how close I had come to throwing in the towel and reverting to my old ways. 

I haven't wavered in my resolve this time. My determination hasn't faltered. Some days/weeks are harder than others, sure, but I haven't once wanted to quit. What's the difference? Why am I not falling apart right about now? 

December 29th I woke up, in more ways than one. I've said I literally opened my eyes that morning and said, "I'm done. Enough is enough." And it's true, I did. But I really believe God shook me that morning, saying, "You've been praying for change, for peace, for so long... it has to start with you. YOU must do this because you are more than capable and I won't do this for you or you'll never see how strong and able you really are." That's the difference. Not that He pushed, as I'm sure He had been pushing for quite a long while, but that I listened and embraced it. 

You all know I'm sooooo close to 50 pounds lost. I would have loved to step on the scale this morning to find I had made it there, but I saw a 2 pound loss instead and I am not disappointed. I have lost 49 pounds and will hopefully be celebrating my 50 this time next week! 

Starting weight: 336 lb.

Goal weight: 150 lb.

Week 1: 328, -8 lb.

Week 2: 325, -3 lb./-11 lb. total

Week 3: 323, -2 lb./-13 lb. total

Week 4: 317, -6 lb./-19 lb. total

Week 5: 314, -3 lb./-22 lb. total

Week 6: 312, -2 lb./-24 lb. total

Week 7: 312, -0 lb./-24 lb. total

Week 8: 306, -6 lb./-30 lb. total

Week 9: 306, -0 lb./-30 lb. total

Week 10: 306, -0 lb./-30 lb. total

Week 11: 304, -2 lb./-32 lb. total

Week 12: 300, -4 lb./-36 lb. total

Week 13: 300, -0 lb./-36 lb. total

Week 14: 300, -0 lb./-36 lb. total

Week 15: 298, -2 lb./-38 lb. total

Week 16: 295, -3 lb./-41 lb. total

Week 17: 293, -2 lb./-43 lb. total

Week 18: 289, -4 lb./-47 lb. total

Week 19: 287, -2 lb./-49 lb. total