And So I Begin Again

I want to start with something I read recently in a wonderful book by Lysa TerKeurst called Made to Crave. She quotes a friend of hers, E. Titmus: “When I get all caught up in how unfair it is that my friend is skinny and doesn’t have to work at it, how can she eat what she wants when she wants, and how much it stinks that I can’t be like her, I remind myself that God didn’t make me to be her. You see, he knew even before I was born that I could easily allow food to be an idol in my life, that I would go to food, instead of to Him, to fulfill my needs. And in His great wisdom, He created my body so that it would experience the consequences of such a choice, so that I would continually be drawn back into His arms. He wants me to come to Him for fulfillment, emotional healing, comfort – and if I could go to food for that and never gain an ounce, well then, what would I need God for?”

Can you say “A-ha!”? I cannot tell you how many times I’ve thought “Why can’t I just wake up tomorrow and this burden be gone?” I read this, then re-read it, then re-read it again… and again, and again. Such a revelation in a paragraph! Now I’m left to wonder how I didn’t know this before. It makes absolute perfect sense, yet I couldn’t come to this conclusion on my own. Amazing.

So, this journey begins again for the very last time. Twice before I’ve gotten off to a good start only to fall off the wagon, as they say (and many times my start wasn’t so good at all). In my attempts to lose this weight before I’ve merely tried to eat right and exercise more. This time God is in control and I am letting Him do what He will. I am seeking His guidance, grace, and wisdom every moment of everyday. And the funny thing is I have a feeling this won’t just change how I eat or the way I see food. I have a feeling, it’s going to change my life.