Switching It Up

This week I walked 13 miles again!!! Yay me! That's 39 miles in 3 weeks. And while I'm going to continue walking some weeks, I'm thinking it might be time to switch it up a bit. For now, it has to be something I can do in my own living room. I have the Zumba DVDs, but I am SO not ready for that yet. I also have (no laughing allowed) a couple of Richard Simmons Sweatin' to the Oldies DVDs. Seriously, quit laughing. I love them. I especially like that the people he has working out with him are people still on the journey usually, but they are doing it! I loved Tae-Bo back when it was new and actually saw some Tae-Bo DVDs at Wal-Mart and at Sam's Club the other day, but I don't think I'm there yet either. But I do need a change. So, we'll see what Monday brings.

Today was weigh-in day. I lost exactly 2 pounds this week! I'll take those 2 pounds and keep on moving.You should know that I've decided to put black electrical tape over the  number that comes after the decimal point on the scale. I've decided I just need a nice whole number. So, I've adjusted the numbers from the last few weeks and from here on out you'll be seeing no decimal point.
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Starting weight: 336.0 lb.Goal weight: 150 lb.

Week 1: 328 (-8 lb.)
Week 2: 325 (-3 lb. / -11 lb. total)
Week 3: 323 (-2 lb. / -13 lb. total)

You Can Do Hod Sings

This is going to sound perfectly crazy, but the toughest thing for me this week has been getting all my points in. I've never had this problem before, EVER. But everyday this week by dinnertime I'm just not wanting to eat much of anything. I'm thinking this coming week I'll try to get most of my points in at breakfast and lunch and see if that helps in some way. Eating when I really don't want to be eating is hard. And truly, I never though the words "when I really don't want to be eating" would ever leave these lips!

Today was my second weigh-in. I lost 3 lb, bringing my total weight lost to 11 lb. so far! I'm happy with every single pound, every half pound, every .2 pounds... as long as I'm losing, I'm good. I fully realize there will be weeks that I don't lose a darn thing and I'll be ready for and okay with that too. As long as I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing to take this extra weight off, I'm okay with the scale.

I walked 13 miles again this week. I've walked 26 miles in 2 weeks time. I can't remember the last time I walked 26 miles. Some of those miles were fairly easy and some of those miles were so hard I wanted to quit. But you know what gets me through them? I'm doing a walk-at-home video (love Leslie Sansone!), so the girls sometimes get into it too. On one of my first days walking I turned to Allison who was taking a break on the couch and I said "This is SO hard Alli. I can't do this. I want to quit!", to which she replied "You can do hod sings Mommy. Anybody can if dems wants to." Such wisdom from a 5 year old. And you're right baby girl, I CAN do hard things. I'm doing them for me and for you and your brothers and sister. 

I've got this.
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Starting weight: 336.0 lb.Goal weight: 150 lb.

Week 1: 328 (-8 lb.)
Week 2: 325 (-3 lb. / total loss -11 lb.)

The First Weigh-In!

Today was my first weigh-in. I've avoided posting stats before now because I weighed more a week ago than I did at nine months pregnant with any of my four kiddos! That's a tough pill to swallow.

Starting weight: 336.0 lb.
Goal weight: 150 lb.

I decided last night that whatever the scale said this morning I was more than happy with my progress this week. I stuck to my points allowance and I managed to walk 13 miles since Monday. Some of those miles were physically tough and mentally excruciating, but I did them anyway. Did my hard work and perseverance pay off?

Week 1: 328.0 lb. (-8 lb.)

Yay!!! It sure did! I know I have a long way to go, but everyday is a step in the right direction. When I hit the 50 lb. mark, we already have a special little day trip planned. I can't wait for that! I'm still trying to decide what special thing we'll do when I hit the 100 lb. mark, but I've got some time to think about that one.

Today, I'm not treating myself in any special way. I'm going to continue to eat right, take this one day off from exercise, and get right back to it tomorrow. My kids need this. My family needs this. And I need this.

Pictures Are Hard to Bear

If you are my FaceBook friend, you know that I had literally millions of pictures (okay, maybe not millions) of my kiddos, but only a handful of myself. And most of the pics in that handful were old. REALLY old.  I am even going to admit that I recently posted a picture on FB of myself with others, and I blocked almost every single girl I went to high school with from seeing it. Yep, pictures are hard to bear.

But not here, and not anymore. My children deserve to have pictures of me, with me. They are going to want to look back at old photos someday and see their childhoods painted there, but how will that be if I am in none of them? They spend 99% of their time with me. How can all the pictures  have no mommy?

So, here it is.

This is me. The one hiding behind the curly-haired beauty in the in the red shirt. This is me after years of putting myself on the back burner and then turning if off completely. Maybe I’ll get used to being in pictures sometime down the road. Maybe I’ll be able to look at them without cringing in the near future. Until then, I’ll force myself to post them anyway. Then maybe mirrors will become easier too.

And So I Begin Again

I want to start with something I read recently in a wonderful book by Lysa TerKeurst called Made to Crave. She quotes a friend of hers, E. Titmus: “When I get all caught up in how unfair it is that my friend is skinny and doesn’t have to work at it, how can she eat what she wants when she wants, and how much it stinks that I can’t be like her, I remind myself that God didn’t make me to be her. You see, he knew even before I was born that I could easily allow food to be an idol in my life, that I would go to food, instead of to Him, to fulfill my needs. And in His great wisdom, He created my body so that it would experience the consequences of such a choice, so that I would continually be drawn back into His arms. He wants me to come to Him for fulfillment, emotional healing, comfort – and if I could go to food for that and never gain an ounce, well then, what would I need God for?”

Can you say “A-ha!”? I cannot tell you how many times I’ve thought “Why can’t I just wake up tomorrow and this burden be gone?” I read this, then re-read it, then re-read it again… and again, and again. Such a revelation in a paragraph! Now I’m left to wonder how I didn’t know this before. It makes absolute perfect sense, yet I couldn’t come to this conclusion on my own. Amazing.

So, this journey begins again for the very last time. Twice before I’ve gotten off to a good start only to fall off the wagon, as they say (and many times my start wasn’t so good at all). In my attempts to lose this weight before I’ve merely tried to eat right and exercise more. This time God is in control and I am letting Him do what He will. I am seeking His guidance, grace, and wisdom every moment of everyday. And the funny thing is I have a feeling this won’t just change how I eat or the way I see food. I have a feeling, it’s going to change my life.